Everything is a misconception. Life. This world. Religion. Education. Popularity. Love. Happiness. ME.
No one hardly knows the real deal because everyone is so focused on their own perspectives, their own way of thinking, their own beliefs, their own, their own, their own.
Well this is my space. My voice. My words. Knowing all too well what’s like to be misunderstood, I have created this here platform where I can just be me.
A Snippet of Crystolyn
Wife. Mother. Daughter. Sister. Aunt. So on and so on.
So many roles that offer an explanation of why I’m here on this earth, yet standing alone not one describes what I’m supposed to do while I’m here.
Writing isn’t just something that I do. Being a communicator is who I am, and it just so happens that writing is the most liberating manner in which this communication comes forth. Ever since I can remember I’ve written down my thoughts, feelings, and ideas. It comes so naturally for me that I didn’t really know it was a gift until recently. Most of the time the very thing we flow in so effortlessly is our strongest gift, but we’re too busy trying to perfect our imperfections and become a master in the things that challenge us that we overlook it. Just imagine what it would be like to understand why you were given that knack and learn to perfect it in a way that brings a level of fulfillment that nothing else can.
That’s why I’m here. I don’t think I’m the best writer, by any means. But I know my Creator wants me to utilize my ability by putting into words what someone else may struggle to formulate. At times I may even struggle with what to say or how to say it, be that as it may I know I always feel a sense of relief once I do–like it was something pent up that was waiting to be released. If no one were to read my writing the process of articulating my inner-most desires, feelings, emotions, fears, and just the utmost of who i am–is all worth it. Because with these words, I discover a new part of me–a part that may have otherwise lay dormant and trapped, leaving me with only a portion of who I’m meant to be had I not developed the courage to delve deeper into my soul and loose the greatness that lies within.
I don’t claim to be an expert in anything at all. However, I do believe I have a story and have lived through enough experiences and gone through plenty situations that allowed me to develop some tenacity for life…at least in my little corner of the world. I wouldn’t even say I’m here to necessarily offer anyone advice but to merely be open about what has gotten me through the tests and trials I’ve been fortunate enough to overcome (or perhaps those I’m still overcoming). This is simply my platform to share with people who may be in similar circumstances as me: working full-time, while balancing motherhood, marriage, and pursuing higher education.
Maybe, like me, you’ve been in a place where you had no one to turn and no one to confide in; perhaps out of shame, regret, or even pride you find it hard to be candid about things that you experience on a day-to-day basis. I’m here to tell you that you aren’t the only one on this road. I’m here to be a voice for those who have yet to find their own. Maybe “they” told you that you couldn’t say those things..or think that way…or that your feelings weren’t valid. Yes, they told me too…and guess what? I didn’t buy into it. It found a way out anyway! I refuse to sit back and feel inhibited a day longer for the sake of someone else’s comfort.
All and all, I’ve always been an somewhat of an outcast, and blogging just seemed like the perfect outlet.
Direct from the Source
I hate to include a disclaimer, because this is part of the reason I decided to start my own blog in the first place, but I’d rather you hear it directly from me. I’m tired of apologizing for how I feel and the things I say. I was told all my life not to say this and not to say that. I want to feel free when I write. Off with these limits! If you don’t like it, you’re welcome to exit the page now, though I must let you–my readers–know that nothing I write will be intended to wound, hurt, or offend anyone. This is simply the essence of my emotions, my thoughts, my heart speaking in a public setting. And let me tell you, that’s a harder thing for me to do than it is for you to simply read something and not like what’s being said. I like to challenge people to think differently, perhaps in ways they wouldn’t ordinarily. The world is comprised of billions of people, and we all have our own unique way of looking at things. These are my individual lenses—made up of who I am, where I come from, the family that produced me, the education I’ve received, the relationships I’ve had, and so much more. Maybe you can relate. Maybe you can’t. But there is always something to learn from the people that we cross paths with. For the first time in all my 20-something years of living, I give myself permission to be free—to just…be…Crystolyn.
The thought-process behind the name I chose for this blog was more than a heavy task for me. It’s hard to think of something that captures the totality of how you want your website to unravel before the eyes of others. I kept thinking about how I didn’t want to be misunderstood or misperceived in what I was saying or even how I chose to say it. Or how I didn’t want the name to deter anyone from viewing the blog altogether. And that’s when I thought, humph—that’s the whole point! I’m misunderstood by most people I come in contact with—whether they prejudge me based off of my physical appearance, or by the way that I speak, or whether they just allow their own perceptions to block the reality of who I am as a person—it’s been the on-going story of my life. The depth of this whole notion of being misconceived is also a metaphor for the way I was brought into this world, which apparently has had lingering effects throughout the years. But I’ll refrain from diving into the meticulousness of it all in this “brief” summary. I decided, while there may be misconceptions out there about who I am or what I stand for—I’ll give myself the opportunity to have my own voice here. Why not play off of something that is seemingly negative and develop it into something positive?
I ramble. My mind is usually traveling at a pace that I can’t keep up with, and I get annoyed with the way I think pretty often. Sometimes I wish I was more simple, but I’m just not. I can’t help that I pass a homeless person on the street and ponder over and over again in my mind about how they could have gotten to their present circumstance. Or that when someone is rude to me, I wonder who hurt them to make them treat others the way they do. Or when I look into a child’s sad eyes, how I start to see a glimpse of myself.
Being different, to the point that you can’t relate to many people, put me in a place where I learned early that I can only rely on God to be there for me and to fill any void that I ever have. And the more I begin to understand my purpose in this world—I realize that most leaders stand alone, for they cannot afford to linger with those who simply extract from them.
While I am a Believer, I won’t necessarily just write things that have to do with God or church or being “holy.” A lot of it probably will simply because I’ve been around a lot of religious fanatics who fail to see that they aren’t doing anything to help build the Kingdom but rather tear it down. I’m the same whether I’m at church or home or just hanging out. This is just who I am, and I think that’s something to be respected no matter what beliefs you may hold. So sometimes I will just write about things simply because they bother me or I think it’s interesting in some way. I absolutely love learning from people with different beliefs and background, so while I’m certainly not judging anyone–I do ask that my beliefs be respected as mine just as I will do the same and respect yours. I like to think I’m in-tune and have a special connection with other cultures and I know for a fact it has to do with the calling that’s on my life. I love meeting new people from other parts of the world and just communicating with people who have various ideas and ways of thinking. What good would it do to only associate with people who speak the same language as me, are the same color as me, live in the same zip code as me? No! Why would the world be so vast if that’s all life was about? So while you may not agree with everything I say, which I’m not asking you to, I hope you can at least accept me for who I am as I open myself up to you.
My hope and prayer is that you’ll enjoy reading my blog. If just one person is encouraged by something I say–I am forever grateful. Leave a comment! I would love to receive your feedback